Living Through Crisis, Anxiety and Polarization: The Effects on CDR Professionals and Our Cases
By: Jon Kramer, LCSW, Dr. Mary Lund, PhD, and Jennifer Winestone, Esq
A Mediator’s/Collaborator’s Role in These Times of Uncertainty:
In an era of rapid change and collective trauma, Consensual Dispute Resolution (“CDR”) Practitioners may benefit from reflecting on how social dynamics, economic challenges, and the ever-deepening impact of global crises affect our work. Whether it has been the evolution of mediation to mainstream conflict resolution, escalating effects of natural disasters, and world issues, and the general cultural shifts occurring as a result, we as professionals are increasingly faced with a world where the issues that bring people to the CDR process are deeply intertwined with broader societal fear and worry. This is our challenge as CDR professionals; and, we do so within the context of how we navigate our own responses to these same pressures.
The Evolution of CDR. From Revolutionary to Mainstream:
Conflict resolution has come a long way since its inception. As acceptance of CDR has grown, so has the complexity of the cases. What began as a revolutionary concept, largely driven bypeople motivated to seek a more enlightened path than litigation, has now become a mainstream approach to resolving divorce. This shift is undeniably positive, as more people turn to mediation and collaboration as a way to resolve their differences peacefully. But the very success of CDR has introduced a paradox: as its popularity has grown, the nature of the cases have become more complicated. Where CDR once attracted individuals seeking to collaborate their way through divorce, it is now a way to avoid the time, expense, and public nature of litigation. We are seeing more frequently that the motivation for mediation and collaboration is not a shared desire for a positive outcome, but a need to circumvent the difficulties and expense of going to court. This shift has made our work more challenging. We must learn to use old tools in new ways, and expand our skillsets and perspectives, especially as parties become more transactional and binary in their mindsets (in parallel with current societal norms).
The Impact of Traumatic Events on Consensual Dispute Resolution:
Natural disasters, like wildfires or floods, economic uncertainty, and political upheaval — including economic uncertainty, shifts in governmental policies, and increasing political polarization — weigh heavily on all of our mental states. The trauma from these events has rippled into personal lives, affecting how individuals engage in disagreement. When industries falter, such as the entertainment industry, which we are noticing firsthand here in Los Angeles, or when people leave their communities due to natural disasters or political instability, tensions escalate for people whose marriages are ending. They face multiple crises simultaneously. For mediators and collaborators, this means that cases are not just about the issue at hand (parenting plans, global settlement, business valuation), but also about managing the emotional aftermath of trauma. Our ability to listen to one another, understand, and empathize is often compromised when we are living through or have recently lived through highly charged, traumatic events.
Take, for example, the COVID-19 pandemic. In addition to the devastating loss of life, it triggered an atmosphere of pervasive anxiety. The virus altered how people interacted, worked, and parented. It created an environment where societal norms were upended, and the fears it generated were often carried into the divorce mediation room. Parents who were already struggling with co-parenting found themselves contending with even greater uncertainty as the stakes of health and safety were magnified. A CDR process that might once have been rooted in practical concerns of time share schedules or support payments became wrapped in the complex web of public health concerns, mask mandates, vaccinations, and online schooling. In some similar ways we are now noticing this as an aftermath of the recent LA wildfires with issues of relocation among other things having fueled anxiety-filled conversations.
Anxiety and Polarization. Shaping Our Mediations/Collaborations:
As CDR professionals, we recognize how an atmosphere of anxiety, fed by the unpredictability of change, has shaped our work. Whether it is the stress related to the economy, or division magnified by polarized political and social discourse, these forces have created a level of entrenched position-taking that has made CDR work increasingly challenging. We are noticing that our clients come to the table with deeply held beliefs that are often influenced by opposing political and social ideologies, making consensus-building more difficult than ever.
We, as professionals, must grapple with what we believe to be a central question: Is it our role to challenge the validity of deeply held beliefs (such as children being vaccinated or treated for gender identity problems) in order to create space for CDR dialogue; or, is our responsibility only to encourage people to understand each other’s fears, hopes, and needs? This question is part of a broader conversation about the role CDR professionals play in today’s polarized society. As mediators/collaborators, we may also risk imposing our personal beliefs, thus creating more division and impeding our neutrality, rather than promoting understanding and agreements.
The Mediator’s/Collaborator’s Internal Struggles. Living Through the Trauma:
An often-overlooked aspect of mediation and collaboration is how we as CDR professionals are affected by the societal upheavals around us. We, too, are not immune from turmoil and are also living through trauma. In our professional roles, we are aware of how our own experiences shape the way we interact with others. Our understanding of conflict may be colored by our own feelings of fear, loss, or anxiety. This is why self-care continues to be essential for us as well. It is not enough to be attuned to our clients’ emotional-legal-financial needs; we must also recognize and attend to our own well-being. If we are to effectively guide our clients through the often turbulent and emotionally charged divorce process, we must ensure that we have the space to process our own emotions and experiences. Self-care, as we define it, involves several practices: setting clear boundaries between our work and the rest of life, seeking peer support, and engaging in ongoing education to ensure we’re equipped to manage complex, high-stress cases, new issues, and current trends. Attending to ourselves also includes mental health care for us to remain grounded in moments of pressure. Our ability to manage our own stress directly impacts our ability to create safe spaces for our clients to reach agreements related to their divorce issues.
Conclusion. Balancing Ideals with Realities/A Path Forward and Recognizing Waves of Progress:
A central component of CDR is the search for a positive outcome. CDR Professionals misunderstand that societal progress is not linear. Like the economy, every case and the field of conflict resolution as a whole has its own waves of progress and setbacks. CDR Professionals hold the hope for the people in dispute. Sometimes we may feel overwhelmed by the barrage of societal changes and the intensifying nature of the disputes we mediate. However, by recognizing that these challenges are part of a larger historical context, we can find the strength to continue. As CDR professionals, we play an important role in helping individuals see beyond their immediate fears and anxieties, encouraging them to connect with shared values and desires for a better future. We can remind ourselves that we are part of a larger movement.
Even though the cases may be more difficult and the social climate more fraught, our work continues to be vital. Through understanding, empathy, and strategic intervention, we can help our clients navigate more generally through the anxiety and chaos of the world around them, and their divorce process in particular.
In a world where rapid change and societal trauma shape the divorce conflicts that come to our door, mediators/collaborators must navigate both external pressures and internal responses. We believe that the key is not only to support our clients in resolving their divorce disputes, but also to take care of ourselves as professionals and as humans. We must be cautious about the polarization of ideologies, and remain grounded in the core principles of CDR conflict resolution — empathy, understanding, and the quest for mutual respect. We do so in service of helping our clients to reach final agreements and be able to move forward as a family despite their new normal. And in doing so, we can continue to foster respectful, cost-effective divorce, that meet the needs of our clients while also leaving us professionals deeply satisfied with the work that we do.