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Colleagues and clients have sometimes asked me if I do mediation. Or if I consider myself a mediator. Early in my post-graduate training in Family Systems and Couples Therapy, I observed the now deceased mediation pioneer, John Haynes, conduct a live interview. I, along with other trainees, watched his mediation meeting behind what is called…

“How did I get here?” is a phrase we often hear at our Center at the beginning of our couples work. It is usually said out loud by one of the partners in front of the therapist. If it is not explicitly stated, it is conveyed. This phrase references a marriage that is buried under…

Usually in Discernment counseling a couple presents where one of them is “leaning in” and the other is “leaning out.” The former wants the marriage to work and is invested in anything that will help. The latter is ambivalent and somewhere along a continuum of being done with the marriage to considering reconciliation if some…

I’ve decided to write a bit more about Discernment Counseling, specifically another “hard reason for considering divorce:” substance abuse/addiction. To review for a moment, Discernment Counselors refer to hard versus soft reasons for considering divorce; hard reasons are considered the more challenging issues, which often lead to a divorce decision, as opposed to soft ones…

A bit more about my last post on the issue of infidelity and what makes it a “hard reason” for considering divorce” as opposed to a soft one. To catch those readers up on terminology, I am writing about Discernment Counseling and hard versus soft reasons for considering divorce. Hard reasons are considered the more…

We see a lot of couples at our Center. Sometimes, though rarely do both partners show up at the 1st appointment ready and interested in working on their relationship. More often, 1 or both are ambivalent, are tired out, and are weighing the high stakes of dismantling the life they have built together. They are…

Hermosa Beach office provides assistance for struggling marriages all under one roof. By Jon Kramer, LCSW and Kimbery Davidson, ESQ.  Conceptualizing divorce and reconciliation differently…When a couple senses “something” is not working in their relationship, they may wonder where to turn first.  Frequently, they become emotionally paralyzed with what to do. Would a marriage counselor,…

By Jon Kramer, LCSW and Kelly Anderson, LMFT The Collaborative Center of Southern California (CCSC) offers a unique service developed by Dr. William Doherty and his team in Minnesota called Discernment counseling.  Discernment counseling is a way for couples to look at their options before making a final decision about divorce. It is most appropriate…

By Jon Kramer, LCSW It is 6:15 on a Tuesday Evening and the counseling room is hot.  The heat is being generated from the tension between Jim and Sarah (*names have been fictionalized*).  I am their Couples Therapist.  I can feel the intensity building and I need to slow them down.  I have to do…

By Susan Davis-Swanson, Ph.D., LCSW You’ve pictured it since you met your new partner: the marriage, the children, a cozy home together.  You never thought of all things that could disrupt this idyllic picture: the changes that you stepchildren won’t like you, the ex that will not seem to disappear, and the challenges of parenting…